The Incredible Shrinking Man

This guy I know is doing this thing. What? More detail, you say?

Well, fine.

Dan Radice, with whom I attended high school and may or may not have participated in Model United Nations Debating, is attempting to make his way through not one, not two, not even three, but fourteen different fad diets! Consecutively! He has just wrapped up the Cabbage Soup Diet and following one scheduled day off is beginning the Chocolate Diet.

Catch the diet fever over at The Grandly Spectacular and Fantastically Phenomenal Fad Diet Experiment.

Go, Dan, go! Also, might I recommend the Amputation Diet?

Through the Roof

Well hello.

If you’re stopping here by way of Ye Olde Yarn Harlot, welcome. And since I have your attention (momentarily anyhow -I realize you’re probably here to see this), I want to take the time to gently remind you about Tricoteuses Sans Frontières or Knitters Without Borders. I know it’s the holiday season and I know that things are tight -  this year especially.   Throughout the world, you will find MSF helping people when it seems that all hope has been lost. It is important work. Médecins Sans Frontières / Doctors Without Borders can always use your help.

If you’d like to make a donation, you can do so at the following sites:

MSF Canada

MSF USA

MSF International

More information about Knitters Without Borders can be found here.

Maybe some finished Christmas knitting will inspire you? Okay, so it’s still wet but it’s off the needles. That’s finished in my world.

I’ll Admit It

I failed at NaBloPoMo. A number of events conspired against me and by Saturday, I just had nothing. Nothing in terms of writing that is. I did have a wicked hanger-on-of-a-cold, a messy house, a visit from in-law-ishes, a staff holiday dinner and planning to be done for the week I am now halfway through. I know, poor bibsy, right? Never fear. As they say, we’re all winners. I was a (self-declared) winner at NaBloPoLess. It’s all in the framing.

Today, I think you need to do some reading. I think you need to know what the hells bells is going on in the political machine of Canada. So go here and then go here.

The first explains the Canadian political system and demonstrates how we got ourselves in this hot mess in the first place.  It has a bit of a left slant, but it’s also funny. And she knits too!

The second is DMs rant to which I give a hearty “what-what”! The email he references came from me. It was sent to me by someone with whom I went to school. Have no fear, this person (whose gender and identity shall remain secret to protect the ignorant) is busy shaping the minds of our youth. Shudder.

Also, DM and I thought that for the last day of NaBloPoMo, we could write a letter to each other. DM is still waiting for his letter. I received a lovely one. I dare you not to choke up.

An Open Letter to Throat Singing

Dear Throat Singing,

I’m not a fan. Downtown Laurie Brown appears to be though as she seems to play some every night on The Signal.

She’s all yours, Throat Singing. I hope you have a nice life together.

Kim

Guest Post! An Open Letter to Martha

Dear Martha Stewart,

Let me just start by saying I think we both know that I am not the only adoring fan that you have. There are many a young (and not so young) women who long to be just as creatively intelligent as you (minus that year or two you were kind of in the black books…we won’t discuss that here). Hell, my sister moved to PEI for a year to become “Martha”. It worked too- we all reap the benefits of her year becoming a Pastry Chef!

Anyway, my point here is Martha, that I represent all the creative people that cannot always afford the fancy-dancy items in your crafts….let alone drop the cash for “Martha” name brand stuff. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all great. I just can’t afford it at the moment, what with having to pay a mortgage and bills every month and, from time to time, I do need to eat. As I am not one to point out problems without trying to at least attempt to find a solution, I have an idea for you. Dedicate one issue, that’s all I’m asking for, one issue, of Martha Stewart Living to “On a Budget Projects”! You know, stuff that young creative women like myself may have around the house already. Scrap paper, empty 2 litre bottles of pop and Kraft Dinner boxes and crayons. I bet you could think of some pretty sweet stuff to make with all of those things… maybe not all for the same project though.

In the November edition you make a lot of cute ornaments and decorations out of doilies. Come on Martha, doilies? Not something a 25 year old is going to have around the house, nor do I have time to run out and get them. Although, I did just receive my weekly 50% off coupon from Michael’s. I know this sounds like a whole bunch of complaints and negativity, but the point I am trying to get across is this- I love you Martha. I want to feel like I am in your league. I’m sure that you didn’t use ALL expensive craft items before you built the awesome empire that is “Martha”. Don’t forget your roots. Don’t Peace me out…

Your Loving, Albeit Cheap, Fan,

Lindsey

Editor’s Note: Thank you Lindsey! Only a few days remaining in Blo Po-ing and I’m farming it out. Maybe it’s because I am sick. Maybe it’s because I had some marking to do tonight. Or maybe (and far more likely) I am just lazy. If you too are interested in having your letter openly posted on my blog this week, you know where to find me.

Dear Cap’n Crunch

Let me start by saying that I appreciate the way you prefer to go by Cap’n as opposed to the more formal Captain. But I must ask, Cap’n of what? A boat? A plane? The back of my current box would have me believe you are the Cap’n of a sled dog team. No matter, I love you just the same.

I loved you long before you felt it necessary to advertise on the front of the box that you do not contain any trans fat. Awesome. This means you are practically health food. I’m willing to overlook the 13g of sugar per recommended serving. It is worth mentioning that you are right on par with you friends Sugar Bear and Lucky Charm but Snap, Crackle and Pop are kicking your ass.

I turned to you this evening because I am sicker than a dog. You know just what to do to when I need a little pick-me-up. That’s right, tear the bejeezus out of the roof of my mouth.

See you in the morning.

Love and cankers,

Kim

PS… I support your bid for promotion.

An Open Letter to Balazac’s Coffee Niagara Falls

Dear Balzac’s,

According to your website the Balzac’s Philosophy is simple: Serve an exceptional product prepared to perfection. You also mention that you are the antithesis of a corporate-run coffeehouse chain.

I wonder then, does this also mean that you do not explain to your staff the value of customer service?

While in Downtown Niagara Falls this morning, I stopped by your newest location to pick up two coffees and a hot chocolate. I only mention the specifics because once I ordered the beverages, and then asked for three cookies, your employee snapped, “Can we just do the drinks first”? Later, when she began ringing in my order and asked if that was everything, I mentioned that I still needed the hot chocolate. Impatient and in a less-than-pleasant tone she cut me off saying “Uh. I KNOW about that… is there anything ELSE”? Maybe there could have been, but at that point I wanted out.

I tried to be pleasant and I said nothing rude to your employee yet she treated me as if I had done something wrong by walking into a coffee house and ordering coffee. I was not in a rush, nor did I do or say anything to offend her. When, even after receiving truly unpleasant and uncalled for customer service, I wished her a nice day, she merely grunted in my direction.

Perhaps your coffee is superior. Perhaps it is better for the environment and the world in general. But unless you can provide a customer service experience that is every bit as superior as your many competitors, I do not think I will be returning.

Kim

Author’s note: A copy of this letter was sent to Balzac’s.